ocean_eyes46

Sunday Afternoon

2006-11-26T23:32:21Z

got my car back today. my moms boyfreind fixed the brakes. thats pretty good. but now ill have to drive myself to school tomarow. lol and i dont want to. im gona have to get up early and go to school at like 7a.m to get a parking spot. i hate parking on the hill. there are way too many students at my school. i wana go shopping. lol i was making a sanwich earlier and i thought to myself " i should go shopping today. cuz i really feel like going to sears and looking at the refrigerators!". it was a stupid thought. but it made for a good laugh.
i've noticed i dont really have anything for good music on my computer. i went to Best Buy w/ my dad yesterday and he was looking at the mp3 players. :D i think hes gona get me one for christmas. cuz ive been hinting alot that i want one. i want my mom to get me a cell phone w/ a plan and i want my dad to get me an mp3 player. and then theres alot of other simpler things that i want from the rest of my family. this year im buying gifts for my family and my freinds. usualy i dont trade w/ freinds cuz..well usually i just have too many of them. but this year im buying for my best, close freinds. but seeing as i only talk to so many people now, well yea. thats how that goes.
Anyway. i found out recently that my dad checks out my myspace periodically! i thought that was kinda creepy. but okay. thats right guys, my DAD has a myspace. i dont think ive ever shown him my livejournal. but if he was ever to see it HI DAD! :D
lol now im just being a dork. this is so fun talking to myself. you have no idea. actually you might. um
Yea, anyway. dont think im really going to do much of anything today besides work on my room. hopefully i wont make a mess again. when i clean i make messes. its ironic and true. oh my gosh, my brother got my christmas present today and he wrapped it up and put it on the table in the dinning room and im dying to know what it is! i need to find my mom and my dad something. i want to get my mother this glass rose at the mall. they have this kiosk of a bunch of breakables and nick nacks. but i get her something from there every year. i think she expects a gift from there by now haha. she doesnt have a kurio (sp?) cabinet anymore either. its like a glass amoir that you display your shit w/ mhhm. she has alot of nick nacks. i dont know where she puts them all. alot of them are old. a few break here and there. hmm.. shes so hard to shop for! and the funny thing is its the same story w/ my dad. he has all this fantasy/dragons shit. i get him that stuff all the time. i use to get him pocket watches. the golden round ones. i love those things. but he doesnt use them. i know he doesnt. i buy them for him anyway lol. cuz their so...its kinda like old school or whatever. it reminds me of old movies. maybe ill just buy one for myself this year! haha! when i was little i'd get him wallets too. maybe ill just get him a gift card this year and a home made card. where does he shop? Best Buy...
Ooo problem solved! and as for the rest of my family.
yea...
gota go
Love, Beth

Today

2006-11-20T22:11:11Z

ugg.. long ass die. my car is dieing...;( slowly but surely. i took it to the shop teacher at school today and he said the breaks are shot but he changed the oil for me. i need new routers and some other things. its gona be about $100 to fix it. my mothers boyfreind says hes going to sell that car anyway.. wich is retarted because that car doesnt even belong to him, the title is in my name. so i guess im gona be w/out a car for alot longer then i thought. it took me about 2 hours to get home from school today cuz no one would come pick me up. it was ridiculous. my mom keeps asking what i want for dinner but i really dont know. so we might not have dinner. i was journaling today about how i hate having an in-home daycare. i mean i can stand kids i suppose. but they whine and cry all the time. their children... i try to be understanding but come on! its kinda like having 10 little brothers and sisters. their here alot.

jordan was being a douchse in the commons today after school. i was talking to him and he kept tickling me and shit. and i hate that shit. i mean its fun sometimes i guess. but at school im more serious. and hes like whats wrong w/ you.. ur different, you've changed. it made me kinda sad. i hate it when people tell me ive changed cuz i know they liked the old me and i guess i hate disapointing people. i dont think he meant it all like that tho. im just thinking about it in a more broad range, wich i do often. i take things to heart too easily. er i use to. ive really worked on that. hmm what the hell was i gona say.
Oh! the point was i jsut wasnt in a playful mood and he was. like me and him always horse around. hes an energetic person. but sometimes he doesnt know when to stop. when i get irritated w/ him i say "im gona kick you i swear" but he doesnt care. i really tried kicking him today and he didnt budge. hes too rough sometimes. meh, anyway.

My shoulders are still hurting me. it hurts to take my shirt off when i change cloths. their very stiff and sore. i dont know what i did to them. i thought i just slept wrong but its not going away. i wana go to a chiropractor.

Recently a freind of mine ranaway from home. we've been hopping to hear from her all weekend. some people almost caught her twice but now we have no idea where she is. some think shes in south dakota. i just dont know how she'd get there tho. chantal thinks she'd hitchhike. shes a very pretty girl. i hope shes okay. she'll surface soon. i hope. its hard dealing w/ a freind whos run away. ive gone thru this befor when another freind ran away. but i knew where she was. wich almost made it worse really! cuz i had to watch what i say and censor myself. yea that sucked. i would call the house she was staying at and have to worry if when someone answerd if she'd still be there. it was terrible. this runaway is hard in its own way too. i hope she comes home soon. i say that so much its irritating. i just dont know what else to say. she said she thought she pregnant the week befor she left. i know someone who thinks she might've just had a miscarriage. omg. i hate thinking about this.anyway. i gota go.

love, Beth

hehe i love online quizes

2006-11-17T23:17:15Z

okay this result isnt amazingly cool. i just really like this photo that came w/ the result. that girl is pretty and i think kinda looks like me a bit.

What mental illness do you suffer from? (Pictures in results)

Oh thank god you're normal.

We need more of you around.

Thank you for taking this quiz, rate if you want.
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ocean_eyes46 @ 2006-11-17T17:58:00

2006-11-17T22:58:33Z

What model do u look like?

FAT ASS its ok that your fat it doesnt matter that you cant fit thru a standard double wide door its ok that your fat can engulf a small child and nobody would notice dont cry drown your tears in a couple tons of grease and sugar
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ocean_eyes46 @ 2006-11-16T17:05:00

2006-11-16T22:05:00Z

You Are 32% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person.
No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

so i was taking a glorious bite into my peanut butter and jelly sandwich as i thought to myself "mmm who invented these things??"
who did invent such a sanwich? im really curious now.

ive been thinking about Russia all day long. im going to google what their money looks like cuz im dying to know! im taking a trip there when i turn 18. it gives me motivation to look for a job seeing as id ont have one. i need to start saving up for all these things i want to do like go to school and travel and have fun.

this entry isnt made to be long i mostly wanted to talk about PB&J's and how they make the world go round

remember kids, DONT TYPE IN ALL FUCKING CAPS
later hater

Its purse

2006-11-10T21:30:19Z

jordan cant spell lol. we were talking in AIM and he said "you can hide the candy in ur pursh" and then hes like "gota get ready bye" and signed off.

we were suppose to go ice skating today at 2. but he cancelled and said theres no open skate til 8:30. wich there reallly might not be... and i was like okay whatever. we'll hang out another time. but he said he really wants to hang out so we're going to a movie instead. hes going to drug town to get some candy and i dont know what purse hes refering to that im hiding it in. i havent carried a purse in a long time. im getting a headache. i hope this doesnt interfere w/ my hangin out plans w/ Tiffani. she wanted me to bring her lunch today but i dont have a car so i couldnt. she told me dont worry about it but i felt so amazingly bad. she was suppose to pack a lunch but she didnt and iknow how that feels. i do that all the time. going hungry sucks. i hope some freinds helped her out. i cant believe they wouldnt let her walk over to a measly vending machine or something. that is so cruel. she has to dance all day and not even eat anything?? that is so stupid.

i dont know how i feel about going to this movie.i suppose it will be fun. im excited to see jordan. we're seeing Man of the Year. it has robin williams in it so it should be pretty good. i wana get popcorn but i dont think im gona have enough money. duane gave me 5 dollars and im probably paying for my ticket too. i am such a whiner. ive been pretty mad at myself all day. i had cake and ice cream for breakfast. the kitchen is a disaster and i cant find anything healthy to eat besides some baby carrots. i want a real meal. ifme and jordan should go anywhere its out to lunch lol. applebees sounds good at the moment. i love going out to eat w/ Tiffani. shes an awesome going-out-to-eater LOL that is NOT a word. im in such a stupid mood. i had alot of fun getting ready today. when i heard we werent going ice skating i was so disapointed. i hate disapointment. the feeling u get in ur stomach its a terrible feeling. but u get over things i guess. when we were deciding what to see i almost wanted to give up. i told him maybe we just shouldnt do anything today. but he says he wants to do something. so.. yea.

theres this guy mike i wana hang out w/. hes a freind of mine from west. i dont know much about him yet but i think about him everyday. we hung out at the halloween dance last. oh!! tomarows saturday yay. im so excited. some of linas freinds are coming in from out of town tomarow. ive met them befor, its her des moines freinds. their really nice. i cant wait to hang out w/ them. i love hangin out. ilove people. but thats everything ive ever said.

we're all repetitive sometime. i wana play the sims. but i dont want to get it up and started because by the time the game loads ill have to leave. i dont know when jordan's picking me up. he didnt say. ill guess he'll just show up.

Halloween candy aftermath

2006-11-01T14:05:27Z

so im in the library at school. its about 8a.m. i decided to bring my laptop to school today. im really bored. like having this here isnt as much fun as it hought it would be. im using their network so they can see what im doing and myspace is still blocked. they really hate myspace! i said im working on a paper. but im not really. thought i do have a psych paper to write hehe. i will get on my homework soon.yesterday i started making a list of life goals. i want to be : more patient, a better person, more fit (i.e i wana take up kickboxing or a self defense class), and some other stuff. i felt annoying making my list tho cuz i was telling lina about it out loud as i went along. yea. i dont know why i feel the need to change all the time. im just kinda bored with how i am. i wish i was more exciting i suppose. i went tricker treating with some freinds last night. my freind had to help take her cousin around and shes like 3. the little girl was a snow angel! she was so cute! me and brandy got 2 scoffs/comments that we were tricker treating. its probably my last year to be able to. i had fun otherwise. i went as a pirate. after that i took brandy home and went and got ethan. and me him and lina went to Jordans. i went up to Jordans house and said trick or treat just to be stupid. he said he liked my makeup. i had never gone as a pirate befor. it was really fun. i cant wait to upload my pictures to facebook. i wana go on facebook right now. but my schools network wont let me :( sadness.
gota work on homework.
lata

This weekend has done nothing but rock. yes!!

2006-10-29T04:26:17Z

So its saturday night.and i just got home from West High's halloween dance. i had soo much fun! i went to with my freind Tiff and i saw Kellcie and some of her freinds there and chatted it up with them. i danced alot and i didnt really know anyone besides the ppl mentioned. i kept worrying that looked stupid. i really felt stupid like half of the time and i really wish i hadnt bitched so much. but i can be very self conscious sometimes. we all can be. so i hope my freinds can forgive me for such. otherwise it was really great. i think Tiff had alot of fun too.i love dances. they played some slow songs and i had never felt so single. i danced one slow dance with my freind Mike. hes really cool. i tried to dance with kellcie a bit but she was really busy talking with Matt so.. watever. me and her talked and we're totally cool now. Tiffany showed me some different things i can do with my hair and she did my makeup for me. foundation, eyeliner,mascara and all that jazz. i wana go makeup shopping with her. hehe. i wish Jordan could have come with me. but he had to work. my legs are kinda sore. i cant wait to go to sleep and wake up tomarow and start a whole new day. i love new days! i am so happy right. i hadnt danced in so long and it really gets me pumped when i get to go out and do that. i cant wait till im 21 and able to go to dance clubs whenever. ill write more about my weekend later. tonight rocked!
just wanted that recorded for future reference
yay me! B-)

Broken Runaway

2006-10-21T22:53:52Z

so im thinking about all my freinds and how we've all changed over the years. im having to let go of a few of them right now and i feel im the only one affect. i have 2 best freinds. and i had many other good freinds. but now.. the numbers dwindle i supose. and its not a bad thing i guess. im trying to grow as a person and some of my freinds arent to that part of life yet. my freinds kellcie and laura both have recently had troubles with me or i have had troubles with them. they dont talk to me anymore. not like they use to. i will alawys miss them. or memories of them. who they were. its a sad to see everyones paths divide when we all once played in the same playround once upon a time. i love my freinds. i have always put my heart into them. im making new freinds and they say alawys hold onto the old.. but sometimes you jsut cant anymore. i wish i could talk to them and know how they truly felt. but i guess somethigns you'll never know.

God does not mean for man to be alone.

Thank the Lord for all the musicians

2006-10-12T22:38:26Z

im pretty content at the moment. Listening to Jeremy Camp. even if you dont listen to christian music give this guy a listen. hes a wonderful singer. he reminds me of the lead singer in the Goo Goo Dolls. do they sing that song Drops of Jupiter? i dunno

Anyway. i had a pretty good day. got my math assignment done and got a %100 on my spanish test. im starting to really like spanish. i use to hate it. but its pretty easy when you give it a chance. i feel so accomplished. today i came home straight after school (okay thats a lie i went to Taco Bell first hehe) and helped my mom out. i picked up the living room and did the dishes. the whole kitchen in itsself still isnt done but thats cuz theres still people in it. my goal of the day is to clean completly by the end of the night.

As i type im really missing my freinds like Tiffani N. and Laura H. their my old buds and i love them alot. i miss their faces and their voices. lol okay wait, this entry is getting creepy. i love peple. we're doing "Me" collages in my psych class and my poster is suppose to have things that i like or words that describe me. but i mostly have models on it so far and little kids and just people. i love people! but i wonderd if that really reflects who i am as a person and then i wonderd if i even KNOW who i am. i was always sure that i did. like i know i have alot of personality and stuff but who is "Beth" in all her essence, ya know? well this has been on my mind and i guess i really dont know.
i wish i did.
i can only hope my teacher doesnt assume i choose who i am thru other people because i dont. but the poster does have things that i like... such as one model is holding a bottle of perfume. i like perfume. and lets think what else... i dunno. i'd have to look at it.

Moving on, i got to hang out with Jordan yesterday :D. yay me. we had a good time. i went over to his house and we watched a movie and cuddled. it was nice. i was sad when i had to leave and i hated that he could tell. i miss him.

my list of goals for the day is getting longer as i think. wich is starting to get annoying. west's homecoming is saturday! i wana go. im not gona know anyone there tho. besides Tiff. ive been trying to make it a point to call her by her english name but sometimes i miss her old name. its cool tho. i hope me and her can talk again soon.

NHS Homecoming

2006-10-08T16:13:11Z

last night was awesome fun! i went to my first Homecoming. we went to dinner at Sweet Fannys and then went over to the convention center to get our dance on. lol. we gave them our tickets and then went and got our pictures taken. i cant wait to get them back! i hope they turned out okay. they didnt cost too much. it was a good deal. i danced with alot of ppl and just had fun. yesterday i was really busy. i got my hair done and my nails and it was just crazy. i forgot to pick up jordans bootineer! lol so we picked it up befor the dance.

right now im just chillin in my room. i didnt end up going to church. i dont like riversedge. im making it a goal to find a new church that focuses more on the Word then self help. Riversedge is really new-age.

lol someone told me i look like im Reminescing the other day and im like wow.. how do you look like your reminescing. i cant even spell that word. but like i guess i looked like i was in deep thought and i dont really understand why that person noticed that i was or even really cared.

i miss last night. i wana do that again. i love having fun and just hanging out. i miss jordan. we didnt end up hangin out after the dance. he just took me home. wich i felt was kind of dull but he had to get up early the next morning.

Friday Night

2006-09-30T04:34:31Z

man, i was tryin to upload these new pictures but their on lina's memory card so it didnt work. im so bummed. i think her card is a different brand or something. ive been hanging out soo much latly. tonight was the East vs. North game and it was pretty good. we lost but it was well played. i dont think jordan got to go in but it was hard to tell. and then the night befor EVERYBODY went to the Underground. it was awesome. even scott and wayne were there but they had to stay in the parking lot cuz their graduated and its a "teen hangout". yea it was kinda dumb. scott is 19. yea well it was fun all in all. yay us :). life is good but tiring.

moving away from that today i hung out with jordan at school for a few mins. he took my shoe and when i was chasing him for it i hurt my foot. cuz i was running outside on concrete. yea it really aches to put weight on it. i hate that. it was kinda fun chasing him tho. hes a really energetic person. hehe. after school i took Jaque to work and then took brittany home and chilled with chantal and lina at my house for a while. i got the ride situation settled for the game and then went to it. it was fun. i hung out with some ppl i dont usually hang with as well as hangin with my elementary buds or like my freinds im always with. it was nice. i love people. their so lovly. i miss Ha. everytime i write on this thing i think of her because i truly think shes the only person who reads these posts. online journals are nice tho even if alot of ppl arent reading them. she also invited me to this thing like thru email. tho im sure ive written about that befor. hmmm i should tell Chantal about this site. she likes online journaling too. hehe we had a convo about this. i miss her. she left her purse in my car...

not much else to say.
love, Beth

Drums and Kindness

2006-09-26T22:24:02Z

oh my gosh. my brother is bothering me so bad. he put his drum set in the empty room across from mine and i have to listen to him prcatice. hes so bad. its just a bunch of racket. i wish we could soundproof that room. arrg!! ive had a pretty bad day. i was mad when i woke up and stayed that way pretty well. jordan kept asking me what was wrong but i couldnt tell him. i hate living in my house. iknow its really not that terrible here.b ut theres so much fucking noise pollution. babies crying, little kids screaming and running around. sometimes u cant even walk or have a conversation with anyone downstairs. i hate that my mother does in home daycare but thats how we make our income. so whatever. not much really went onto. i definitly felt different all day. im not use to being angry usually. its really out of character for me. meh.. im really tired.iwent to sleep atlike 7p.m last night and im still really tired and kyles drums are just giving me a headache.
we had an assembly about Rachel Scott today. Shes a girl who was shot at Columbine High School in littleton, Colorado. her uncle was in our very own auditorium! and he told her story. it was really moving and alot of ppl cried. it was intence. my english teacher, a man in his last 30's i would suppose, cried. he told us he had a daughter and he didnt know what he'd do if he ever lost her. and that left me to wonder what MY father would do if anything ever happend to me. i guess i'll never really know. Rachel Scott was a very passionate person. she has an awesome story and i wish i could have met her. She thought kindness was everything. thats amazing.

Empty Interstates on Sunday Mornings

2006-09-24T19:10:25Z

okay so totally getting use to the new comp. yay! :D hehe. recently my mother gave me a new lapto.p. i love it. right now im chatting with an old freind online and lookin for some musin on the internet. i dont have any MP3s put on this one yet. im afraid to download Limewire or anything cuz i dont want to get a virus on my comp ya know. im definitly still in new toy mode about it. i hurt my right arm somehow. like its aching. its weird. today i got some more prints from my digital camera. they rock but i forgot to get a few certain ones. like i need an individual one of brandy and one of me for chantal and one me and her andone of steven for her and one of my freind Kelsey F. for Kelsey F. hehe i think thats funny. omg i was in church today and this woman did this solo song. it was so beautiful. shes a great singer. i mean, i use to be really into singing and i wish i could singl ike her. but i also thing singing can be a very personal thing. i think its a passionate thing so its something i would like to steer clear of. ive realized about myself latly that im a passionate person and when i get started with something id ont want to quit. whether its a conversation or a project or just something i like doing, ya know? so yea. but the bad part is like.. i dunno i just know i could never sing my heart out in front of a big crowd like that woman today. i'd probably start crying or something. and art tends to be a passionate thing because artists are so intricut and creative. man, ilove art. its an interesting thing to love. okay well its about 2p.m and i told a freind i'd come get her. i havent even like gone and taken my shower or anything lol. no big deal. i do want to write more about this in the future tho. art and such and how i like to express myself and god. i love god. he rocks :D
=

Its okay to be pissed off for no reason... becuase theres usually an under-reason

2006-09-12T13:12:09Z

staying home from school today. still dont know what the hell is going on with livejournal. i dont read anyone else's livejournal. i just type... its slightly boring. but hell,w hy have an account if you dont use it?? today i tried on like 7 different outfits trying to get ready for school. i cant find anything i like anymore and a little part of my wardrobe is missing at the moment. arg. how do you loose cloths?? the worst part is i paid for those cloths with MY OWNNN money. so im "fuck!" and i never say that word.less im really pissed off or repeating a joke. hmm... pretty bored. glad im not in school. starting to really hate school. im going thru a hard time right now with my boyfreind. im sick of all the drama. i dont know want to go into this anymore.

moving on. i dont know what im gona do today. i could... go to the mall, or to walgreens. im trying to get a job at walgreens. it'd be SO great if i could get an interview with them. i hate working part time. the job i have is kicking my ass. i wana quit there erally bad. but i cant just not work. i need to know that i'll have something to jump over to.

aww i just turned on this lovly christian song. its called "Shout to the Lord" by Micheal W. Smith. i love christian rock and praise songs.

hmm.. this is weird. i cant sign on to myspace. damnit. hey, maybe il go delete to my xanga. im gona print off a page or two of it first tho. i have a new printer. woo hoo!

Running Ragged

2006-09-10T19:01:46Z

oh my gosh, i am so tired. my part time job is kicking my ass! ive most likly mentioned this on more then one occasion. i hate working there so much. missed church again this morning. not cool. my brother said he wants to go shopping and i was all pumped to go and now he's cancelling on me. i missed the football game yesterday cuz i had to freaking work. :(
no fair. theres another game tomarow. hopefully it will stop raining sooon! rain is pretty and everything but its really starting to drag me down. i need to get my windshield wipers fixed. i have so many post-it's written to myself i cant even keep track. its a bad habit of mine to put too much on my plate at once. i do it at restaurants and everything too! but im trrying to be metaphorical. im so hungry. last night i had a dinner roll for dinner. theres no food here. literally. so sad :(
my mother'd boyfreind said i look taller today. i think i am a little taller. i want to measure myself. i thought i was done growing a long time ago... guess not. i dontk now if i like being taller tho. it does make me look a little more defined tho. er... older. you understand what i mean. hmm... myspace wont let sign on. im getting bored.

Lack of Sleep SUCKS

2006-09-08T22:51:58Z

oh my gosh, it always takes me like.. 3 trys to get here. i forget my password must have a number in it. meh.. im tired, im bored and ihave a headache. i cant reach any of my freinds on the phone except one. im going to a football game tonight and i wanted to invite some ppl to go with me. im meeting one girl there. my new freind, chantal, she rocks :D. hehe. im soo tired. my part time job is kicking my ass and i cant wait to quit there. im transfering to a new job, thank god! hope i get the interview!! and soon. if i dont, i will have to find some other places to work. damnit. i really dont want to work in food or retail. wich is pretty much what we have in this town. i wish i was 18 so i have more jobs available to me. urrgg... did i mention how tired i was? my boyfreind says my eyes are always pink, like my eyelids you know. he says its probably cuz i dont sleep enough. he also thinks im not eating healthy, wich is weird. cuz he saw me at our locker during lunch once and he was like "why are you up here?' and i proceeded to tell him i hardly ever go to lunch. so he says "no wonder ur loosing weight" cuz i told him a few days ago about how i lost 7 pounds. wich was awesome! but i seriously like.. wasnt even trying, school is in session now and i just happen to have less snacking time... now. i hate school lunch and theres no food at my house to pack a lunch. its a situation. we need to go grocery shopping so bad. i kind of dont want to go to the game. like i do and i dont at the same time. i wish i could get a hold of my freinds first i guess. chantal said it would mean alot to her if i came. and i want to hang with her more anyway :). if only there was time for a nap... lol.

thats all for now.

My Busy Weekend

2006-09-05T02:36:18Z

alright, first livejournal entry for the newb. the most terrible time to do it with too cuz i got like.. a million ppl IMing me. i like the attention tho hehe. stuff has been up, yo. working on quiting my job and taking up another. hope i get hired! oh how i heart wal-greens all of a sudden. hehe. i have a freind that works there too so extra fun for me. shes on livejournal. she invited me to it. this entryw ould be nothing without her. wow.. my hands hurt and my desk is bothering me. its so clutterd. i need to re-organize this place, for sure.

this weekend i hung out and went to work and slept alot. i hung out with lina friday night, sat night i worked and sunday night i stayed the night at laura's. and today i made buisness. yup. ill write more about it later. i sell advertisments to companies, so they can be in my school newspaper and i take their money to fund that paper. its cool. im good at it. its all in presentation and knwoing what the hell your talking about. ppl think im older then i am and everything. yup, srue do. i msut call all those companies back tomarow. they all want to see an actual issue of the school pape and everythang. man, im so tired. i have a headache. i miss Ha, i wana hang with her. i wonder if she's home from work yet. i should call her

yay for phones. :D